Waiting…

So, I’m a jerk.  Last week, I blogged that I was sure I was going to get laid off that day.  And then I didn’t tell you whether or not it happened.

Drum roll…

It didn’t happen.  I’m still waiting for the shoe to drop.  Every day I go to work, I wonder if today will be the day.  As I type this, I wonder if today will be the day.  What is she waiting for, already?  Doesn’t she know that I hate wondering?  So, I wait and I wonder and I worry.

Yuck!

And now I have more to stew about.  Yesterday, I had a job interview.  The job could literally change my life and the life of my children. 

And I have no idea how it went.

I mean, I think it went well, but I have no idea what he thought, nor do I know what he thought of the interviewee he had before me.  He gave no clear signs, and I’ve had interviews before which I thought had gone well, but ended up not getting the job.  So, I wait and wonder and worry.

Did I mention this is disrupting my sleep?  I know, I know.  I claim to have so much faith in my Higher Power.  If I’m supposed to get this job, I will get it.  I just need to know that if I don’t get it, it means there’s a better one coming along.  I need to relax and hold tightly to my faith that it will all be okay.

That’s so easy to say!

Every minute that passes, I stress just a bit more.  If I drank, I would probably drink myself into oblivion tonight just so I could sleep and not be up, fretting.  Instead, I get to wander through my days, basically helpless in the path my life is going, sleep deprived and stressed. 

Ugh!

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