My Stalker

Sorry – this is a long rant, but I really need to get it off my chest.  I’m just so tired of it!

According to the professionals, stalkers are supposed to go away after three months of no contact.

Will someone please tell my stalker that?

He has done everything in his power to try to ruin my life.

He dismantled my children’s bikes and stole things from our house.  But that was just the beginning.

He contacted our mutual friends to tell them that I had cheated on him with a woman and had given him HIV.  There were numerous other lies he had said, but truthfully, I have forgotten the rest.  I’m sure my friends could tell you what they were.  And most of them are now my friends.  Not because I asked them to choose him or me (although, there are many days I would like to do just that), but because they knew (without even asking me) that it was utter nonsense.  They felt that anyone who would spew such lies about someone had no place in their lives.

He contacted my ex-husband to tell him that I had molested my daughter.  He actually went into grotesque details about what I had done to her.  My ex made one phone call to our daughter to confirm his belief that it was pure hogwash.  After a few more harassing calls from my stalker to my ex and his girlfriend, my ex very directly told my stalker to stop harassing them and our children.  When I found out about it, I was afraid my ex would call Child Protective Services to try to take my children.  He told me that he knew it was rubbish and that he didn’t want to drag the children through all of that.  Phew!

He created a profile on a dating website for the sole purpose of hurting me.  He actually created a profile, which he knew would be attractive to me and contacted me.  He started a conversation with me which went on for a couple of hours strictly to call me fat and ugly.

He created another profile to post on my old blog.  He did that for the express reason of trying to make me feel stupid.  The fact that I knew him as well as I did made it almost humorous, had it not been so sad.  He has a way of trying to make himself sound intelligent, when actually, he makes himself seem like a buffoon.  I showed his odd post to a trusted (and highly intelligent friend) who asked what in the world it all meant.  We both laughed at the hijinks of this oddball.  Luckily, I have all of my comments set for approval, so nobody ever saw it and wondered what kind of idiot reads my blogs.

Why does this all come up now?  Because he just can’t seem to let go.  He’s back at trying to hurt me.  I had been talking to a man, we had planned a date, and then **poof**  (I think that’s the technical term – he “poofed”) he’s gone.  He cancelled our date hours beforehand (thank heavens I wasn’t stood up!) and I haven’t heard from him since.  I have two guesses – one is that he met another woman who seemed like a better match.  If that’s the case, I wish him well.  I wish he’d have been honest with me, but I harbor no ill will.  I mean – it wasn’t like I was envisioning myself in a white dress beside him.  The other guess (the one my gut is rooting for) is that my stalker found out about it and contacted him with more of his disgusting lies.  In which case, I’m glad the man is out of my life because I wouldn’t want someone who would just walk away after some random guy comes along and dumps lies all over him.  Either way, I’m okay with how it all played out.

It did, however, bring something else into focus for me.  A few months ago, I received a letter from Child Protective Services.  It said that they had received a tip about me abusing my children.  It said that they had done their due diligence in looking into the matter, but felt that it didn’t warrant any further action.  They had deemed the report a false one and nothing was being done about it.  They had just sent me the letter to inform me of what had happened.

Thinking about it now, there really is only one person who might have done that (I’m kinda embarrassed that it took me so long to put two and two together!)

Why can’t my stalker move on?  Why can’t he leave us alone?  Is it because he has no life of his own?

During the two years that I knew him, he held a job for a total of about 2 months.  He quit one job because of migraines.  If I remember correctly, he was at that one for three days.  The government paid for surgery to correct the problem of his migraines.  The government then paid for him to go to school so he could enter a trade.  He then wheedled and finagled an externship (seriously – the woman who finally ended up helping him went way above and beyond!)  He was let go from the externship for no-call/no-showing.  I mean, who does that?  After that, he took another menial job for about a month and a half.  He quit that one when he was just positive he was going to get the job for which he had interviewed.  As far as I know, he’s been unemployed ever since.

His father just died.  This is bad for two reasons: obviously, he misses his dad, but I believe he’s in a state of fear right now.  Since I’ve known him, he’s lived with his father, living off his dad’s disability money.  Now that his dad (and the checks) are gone, I believe he will be homeless within a few months.  I think this scares the living crap out of him.

His “friends” don’t really like him.  They tolerate him now and then (mostly when they need a ride somewhere).  They’re all far younger than him, which makes sense due to his immaturity.  None of them could (or probably would) take him in.

He has no family, other than his sister (who also still lived with their dad), and she’s barely any better off than he is.  Between the two of them, they have terrible credit, no rental history, and half an income.  I can’t see them being able to survive.

But, it makes me thankful (how sad is that?!)  Thankful that he will no longer have the means to cyber-stalk me (did you know there are no laws against the things he’s done to me?!)  Thankful that he might have more pressing matters in his life than trying to ruin mine.  Thankful that at some point, he might actually go away.  It makes me feel badly that I’m joyful about the passing of a man (he was not my favorite person in the world, but I never wished death on him) but I guess it makes sense, given the circumstance.

If I were Catholic, I’m sure I’d have to say Hail Marys or something.

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