No More Sittin’

A good friend once told me that if a guy really wanted to be with me, he would move heaven and earth to be with me.  Mr. Wonderful hasn’t made such efforts.  Sure, I would love to be his, but he is obviously not as interested as I am.

He has cancelled 3 of our 7 dates so far.  He says he’ll call and then doesn’t.  He says he will “BRB” but then I don’t hear from him for the rest of the day.  I have thought for a while that “he’s just not that into” me, but I didn’t want to accept it.

I’ve found myself sitting by the phone, hoping he’ll text and ask me to meet him for dinner or something.  I hate that feeling.  It’s like I don’t have any say in when we go out.  He calls out of the blue and askes if I’m available right then and there.  One time, I asked him out for a few days away, and he said it was too far away to be able to give me an answer.  I don’t know if it’s a control issue or if his life is just not stable.

Either he’s not my soul mate, or it’s not the right time for us.

I’m not waiting anymore.

A guy contacted me tonight.  We hit it off (online) right away.  We talked about meeting tonight.  He asked me to go to his house for a movie and some cuddling.  For a couple of minutes, I considered it.

Until the thought of my mother having heart failure entered my mind.

It got me to thinking – I’ve known for a while that I am lonely.  I had no idea how lonely I really am.  To consider going to a stranger’s house is not okay.

So, change of plans.  I am not going to sit by the phone waiting anymore.  If Mr. Wonderful calls and I’m available, I’ll go out with him.  But, I’m going to go out with or without him.  If he’s not interested/available, I’ll go with someone who is.  Sure, I still have hope that he comes around, but no expectations.

Mr. Backup and I are going to meet at a park on Monday.  We’re going to spend time with each other and get to know each other.  Maybe he can help cure my loneliness so I am not so apt to make bad decisions.  We’re both looking for the same thing – fun, nothing serious, and company.  If we hit it off, this might really help me.

I’ll keep you posted.

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