My Pity Party

Happy Mother’s Day.

To every mother out there except for me.

My son doesn’t care about making me feel special today.  He thought that since he didn’t have any money, he couldn’t do anything to make me feel special.  He does have enough to buy me a card, but apparently he didn’t want to spend it that way.

He could have washed my dishes.

He could have made me a card with all of my arts and crafts materials.

He could have made me breakfast – which he was going to do.  After I bought the pancake mix.  And after his movie was over.  And after which, I would need to wash the dishes.

At nine o’clock, I offered to take him to the store to buy what he needed. On any other morning, I have had two meals by 8:30.  Needless to say, I was starving.  So, after he told me I would need to wait until after his movie was over, I started making myself breakfast, at which point he came out to see what I was doing.

That was when I told him how very unspecial and unappreciated I was feeling.  Sure, I could have said, “No, let’s go now so I can feel more important than your movie.”  I could have said, “I’m hungry, so I’d like to go now.  My stomach doesn’t care about this movie (which you’ve already seen a number of times).”

But that defeats the purpose.  If you have to ask someone to make you feel special, it no longer feels special.  If you have to push someone to do something to make you feel appreciated, you no longer feel appreciated.  This was a no-win situation for me.

During my marriage, I learned that if I want a birthday cake, I have to make it myself.  I’m used to that – no big deal.  I’ve done it for years.  However, I can’t make myself breakfast in bed.  Making myself a card to say what a great mother I am … well, I just won’t do it.

However, I might go out and buy myself a present.  I know I work hard at motherhood and that I’m doing the best I can, even if neither of my children appreciate what I’ve done.  I can reward myself for a job well done, even if my children don’t bother to say it.

So, today is just another day.  Maybe we’ll try again next year.

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