Alone and Lonely

I took my son back to his father tonight, and my house is way too quiet.

I don’t think that’s the whole truth. I think I miss being part of a couple. I miss having someone to share my troubles and my joys. I miss kissing someone goodnight and saying good morning to someone. I miss holding hands with someone while strolling along. And all of the other things associated with couple-dom.

They say when you stop looking, that’s when love finds you. I’m here to tell you, that’s a crock of crap. They say you don’t get anything without some effort. Exactly how much effort are we talking about here? I’ve sent guys hints that I’m interested. I’ve even sent a first contact. I’ve responded to every single e-mail (which wasn’t dripping with sexual offers).

Maybe I’m being too picky, but I don’t think so. Is it too much to ask that he be able to construct an entire sentence? Or that negativity not be in every single e-mail. Or that he isn’t controlling and domineering before we even meet? I don’t think so.

I think the problem is where I’m looking. I’m on a free dating website. That seems to attract the dregs of society. I keep hoping that there is a peach of a man among the bottom feeders, but I’m beginning to have my doubts.

And then I revert to my old way of thinking – I’ll just wait until I lose all of the weight. That way, more guys will find me attractive and will want to date me. But, do I really want to date a superficial jerk? No – I’d rather be lonely.

But I’m really lonely!



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