Do you ever just get the urge to just tell someone off? I’m just so angry (okay, it’s probably hurt disguised as anger) that I just want to tell him off. I want to write him an open letter (which, of course, he’d never actually see) and tell him exactly what I think of him. What a coward, a liar, and a user he is.
It was only one date. Why am I so upset? Because he’s a pig. He said all of the right things, making me believe that we would have a future. No, this wasn’t something I imagined or interpreted incorrectly. He said that he jumps into things quickly, that he wanted to see where things go with me, and, well, lots of other things making me believe he wanted to be with me.
Yah, he wanted to be with me, alright. Biblically. I’m fairly certain that was all he wanted. Of course, this makes me doubt myself. I fell for his lies, hook, line, and sinker. I believed all that he said to me. Looking back, I’m very glad I didn’t give him what he wanted. Haha and neenerneener! Tool!
Had he just been honest with me, this story would have had a completely different ending. Had he said, “Teri, I really don’t see a future with us, but I’d love to take you back to my place for the night.” I’ve been considering finding a FWB for a while now. He would have fit that bill very nicely. Or even a FB. I think we would have been quite compatible that way. I would have been more than willing to be his booty call. Not to try to force a connection with him, but to get my sexual desires met. Win-win.
Unfortunately, the way it happened makes me doubt men. I know there are good men out there. I have friends who tell me all the time how amazing their husbands/boyfriends are. Unfortunately, I seem to attract the liars, users, and losers. I don’t know what it is. I have worked hard for years to be healthy emotionally so I would attract a good man.
Today, I was thinking that I should use men as they use me (or, at least, as they try to use me). At least that way, I’d be getting some action. I haven’t had sex in two and a half years! I miss sex!
However angry I am at Mr. Monkey, I can say that I’m wiser from it. Don’t believe the lies men tell, let them think I believe them, let them bed me, and then move on just as quickly as they do. I’ve done the FWB thing. I am quite adept at separating sex from emotions. I’m even considering a FB. After all, that’s all men want from me and that’s really all I need from them. I don’t need the emotional upheaval that comes from dating, but having a good boink now and then would be great. So, I can thank Mr. Monkey for helping me grow up and helping me be more self-aware. There’s no reason I can’t get my itch scratched without guilt. I have no religious ties keeping me from pre-marital sex, and now, thanks to him, I have been able to release the moral hangups from one-night stands. Why shouldn’t I?
Now, how does one go about finding a FB?