Be Fair

I just read a blog by a woman who wrote about an overweight woman who dared to wear a bikini.  She was talking about how we should love our body and be proud of ourselves, blah, blah, blah.

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As a fat woman, I couldn’t disagree more.  If we love our bodies, we have no incentive to lose weight.  We all know that being overweight isn’t good for us – the stress on our hearts and joints, the increased chance of cancer and diabetes, etc.  If we love our bodies as-is, we are less likely to shed those pounds and move toward a healthier lifestyle.

Plus nobody wants to see all of me in a barely-there suimsuit.  Heck, I don’t even like to see all of it.  Wait – I take that back.  Just the other day, my guy said he wanted to see me in a bikini.  While it was sweet and flattering, there is no way I could do it.  Between being raised Mormon and having an extra 100 pounds on my frame, there’s no way I want to see what all of my never-seen-the-sun skin looks like in a bikini.

But, then I got to thinking – why is it socially unacceptable for fat chicks to show their bellies, but it’s okay for fat men to do so?

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I mean – ew!  I don’t want to see that, either.  So, if you don’t want me to punish you with the visage of my tonnage, don’t force yours on me, m’kay?

Which, of course got me to thinking about the whole make-up, high heels, and bra thing.  Why do we have to stay pretty for you men?  Seriously?  You can get as fat, bald, and ugly as you want, but the moment we show a tiny bit of extra weight or a few tiny fine lines, you trade us in for a new model?  In nature, it’s the men who have to attract the women – a bird’s lovely plumage, a ram’s ability to knock the sense out of another, etc.  Why can’t you men take a note out of animals’ books and try to make yourselves more attractive to us?  I know a number of men who would benefit from thicker eyelashes (aka mascara).  Men with thick eyelashes are HOT!

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Fortunately, my guy has yet to realize that he’s way out of my league.  I need to lose my weight before he realizes it.

And then – watch out world!  My pasty skin is gonna get flashed all over the place!

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