Juvenile

Those of you who have been following me for a while know that I fully support Marilyn Monroe’s saying about a man needing to be able to accept a woman at her worst in order to be worthy of her best.  That saying gave me the courage to walk away from an unhealthy, destructive relationship.  I know men think it’s a way for women to excuse poor behavior, but I think it’s something which empowers women to not have to be perfect all the time – to be able to be weak and emotional and still know that they are okay and lovable.

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Of course, that all hinges on exactly how bad her worst is.  If she’s a raging lunatic, maybe not so much.  But, if she’s a tad emotional once a month, or if she shows anger which is appropriate for the situation, then he needs to understand that she’s human, imperfect, and still a good person.  I’ve defended this quote for years.

Which is why the one this morning bothered me so much.

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This quote felt immature, selfish, and close-minded to me.  Let’s take it a piece at a time, shall we?

Is that really all a girl wants?  Really?  What is wrong with that girl?  She doesn’t want a secure job?  She doesn’t want her aunt’s cancer to go away?  She doesn’t want healthy relationships with friends and family?  All she wants is for a man to prove that he’s not the same as the rest?  If she finds a man who is unlike all the others, she will find ultimate happiness?  Sure, I’m taking this literally, but if you’re going to talk in absolutes, you’d better be darn sure you’re right.

Next – not all guys are the same.  How narrow-minded must you be to think that way?  Just like women, not all men are the same.  That comment is simply ignorant and inane.  The fact that she saw all men as the same only speaks about her personality (and it’s not flattering).  Open your eyes and really see men for who they are.  Maybe date someone who’s not your “type” and you might see the differences.  You might be pleasantly surprised.

Lastly – get over yourself.  Seriously.  If men all treat you the same, it’s because you allow it.  You don’t want men to treat you like a sex object?  Cover up and stop acting like a bimbo.  You want men to appreciate more than your body?  Develop your mind and your personality.  You don’t want men to be jealous?  Stop flirting with every man around.   No, we can’t make a man behave a certain way, but we sure can influence it.

I have spent years becoming the woman I want to be.  I have worked hard to not be the typical woman.  I try to avoid being catty, naggy, dramatic, or quick to anger.  I do my best to be kind, honest, open, and understanding.  By knowing and liking who I am, I never settled for a lesser man.  I know what qualities I want in a man, and which ones I won’t tolerate.  By becoming a better woman, I have made myself worthy of a better man.

Instead of sitting back, wishing on a star for a good man to come along, how about you make yourself worthy of that man once he finds you so he will want you?  Instead of dreaming about the qualities you admire in a partner, how about you develop those qualities so you can be a better partner?  Instead of waiting to be rescued by your knight in shining armor, why not practice your jousting skills so the two of you can go into battle together, fighting side by side, to conquer the dragon as a team?

Quit being a meek little girl who longs for the day when… and start being a woman who can appreciate and is worthy of a good man when he walks into your life.

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