This is what happens when I don’t blog regularly. It all builds up until it comes crashing out in a really long post. 🙂
I am not a violent person. I abhor violence of any kind on any level. That being said, I am desperate to punch the man who wrote this article in the throat.
I wouldn’t really encourage anyone to read it, unless they need a good reason to get worked up. Basically, what it says is that if a woman refuses her husband sex, she is committing a sexual sin against her husband and against God, that she is sexually immoral. It further says that,
A wife cannot flatly refuse her husband, she may only ask for a delay (a raincheck) and then she needs to make good on that raincheck as soon as possible….A husband needs to use prayerful discernment to discover if her reasons for “not being in the mood” are for legitimate physical or mental health reasons or if the problem is wrong thinking and wrong attitude on the part of his wife. If her reasons are legitimate, then she needs to seek medical or psychological help as soon as possible.
Let me get this straight. She’s a good Christian woman. She has chosen to stay at home to raise their children. For the last 4 days, at least one of their children has been vomiting every half hour, which she patiently cleans up. She shows the children love and compassion, even has her husband’s dinner on the table when he comes home from work. She is mentally and physically drained from everything she has been dealing with. But, if her husband wants sex, she has to put out if he deems her reasons aren’t legitimate? At that moment, she feels anything but sexy. At that moment, all she wants to do is lie down and close her eyes. The last thing she wants to do is service her husband, yet he has the religious right to demand it from her? Who is the man who wrote this article, and from what century does he hail?
But wait! It gets worse!
He then goes on to advise men to abuse their wives into submitting to their husbands. Seriously! In sequential steps!
Step 1: Rebuke her in private.
re·buke – To criticize (someone) sharply; reprimand.
Be completely humble and gentle; Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:2-3
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7
Oooo! And then there’s this one!
For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. … Romans 8:5-15
I think that one’s my favorite. What does it say to me? If you’re only worried about what’s going on with the selfish needs of your body (we’re not talking about food, water, and air, here) than it is comparable to death, but to be more worried about your spiritual needs is life and peace. So, basically, that passage is saying that the article is preaching hostility toward God.
Am I saying sex is bad? Of course not. I was taught early on that I might not be in the mood, but to be open to become in the mood, should the possibility arise. But, I was also taught that it is my body and I have the right to say “No,” just as my partner does, and each should be respected. I will not be bullied into sex.
If you are being bullied into sex, you are being sexually abused and you need to seek professional help.
And for God’s sake – don’t listen to idiots like this!
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