Miss You Already
So, Mr. C is totally sweet. Duh. Nothing new there, right? He also really likes spending time with me, which works well ’cause I enjoy his company too.
It is a new experience, though. My prior long term relationship needed me. He didn’t love me, I’m not even sure he liked me. I gave him what he needed. When we ended, it really wasn’t a big deal for either of us – no fuss, no muss.
I’m fairly sure my ex-husband only felt relief when I left him. The only reason he wanted me around was to have someone to bully and control. He neither loved, liked, nor needed me. I was his housekeeper and an incubator for his spawn. If I were gone for a short while (shopping, etc.) the only reason he would miss me was because it meant he had to babysit his own children. He never missed me as a person, as a lover.
So, for Mr. C to miss me is a welcome, if unusual, experience for me.
Not only that, but he misses me before I even leave. Last weekend, I was getting dolled up for Girls’ Day, and he told me that he missed me already.
It seemed like such an odd statement. I still had half an hour before I left. Why would he claim that he misses me while I was still with him?
And then I thought about the moment I found out that he would be away on a business trip for a week. I received that info almost a week before he was due to leave and I found myself missing him – missing him while he was still with me.
That was definitely a new experience for me! He wasn’t going to be leaving for a week, yet I was already dreading him going away for so long! I felt the ache of missing him, even though he was still right beside me. It was so bizarre! It all goes back to my Missing Limb. Of course I would miss a part of me when gone.
I think I’m finally getting accustomed to and understanding all of this… slowly. To be loved, to be cherished, to be missed – all wonderful things to experience. I’m really glad that I get to share all of this with him.
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