Miss You Already

So, Mr. C is totally sweet.  Duh.  Nothing new there, right?  He also really likes spending time with me, which works well ’cause I enjoy his company too.

It is a new experience, though.  My prior long term relationship needed me.  He didn’t love me, I’m not even sure he liked me.  I gave him what he needed.  When we ended, it really wasn’t a big deal for either of us – no fuss, no muss.

I’m fairly sure my ex-husband only felt relief when I left him.  The only reason he wanted me around was to have someone to bully and control.  He neither loved, liked, nor needed me.  I was his housekeeper and an incubator for his spawn.  If I were gone for a short while (shopping, etc.) the only reason he would miss me was because it meant he had to babysit his own children.  He never missed me as a person, as a lover.

So, for Mr. C to miss me is a welcome, if unusual, experience for me.

Not only that, but he misses me before I even leave.  Last weekend, I was getting dolled up for Girls’ Day, and he told me that he missed me already.

It seemed like such an odd statement.  I still had half an hour before I left.  Why would he claim that he misses me while I was still with him?

And then I thought about the moment I found out that he would be away on a business trip for a week.  I received that info almost a week before he was due to leave and I found myself missing him – missing him while he was still with me.

That was definitely a new experience for me!  He wasn’t going to be leaving for a week, yet I was already dreading him going away for so long!    I felt the ache of missing him, even though he was still right beside me.  It was so bizarre!  It all goes back to my Missing Limb.  Of course I would miss a part of me when gone.

I think I’m finally getting accustomed to and understanding all of this… slowly.  To be loved, to be cherished, to be missed – all wonderful things to experience.  I’m really glad that I get to share all of this with him.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: