Fill Your Pitcher

Are you tired of Prince EA yet?  I’m not.  I keep loving him more and more.

A long time ago, I was taught that I need to fill my own pitcher (a nice way of saying that being selfish is necessary).  A dear friend of mine told me to imagine a pitcher filled with Kool Aid.  During the day, I pour that sugary drink into my children’s sippy cups, over and over.  By the end of the day, it’s close to empty.  My husband comes home from work and I pour out the rest into his cup.  It’s then that I realize I’m parched, but I have nothing left for myself.

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As women, as mothers, we take it upon ourselves to give to everyone else around us.  We give love, support, assistance, and time.  We give and we give, rarely (if ever) asking for anything from anyone, sometimes even refusing help from others.  We give until there’s nothing left to give, even to ourselves.

I was taught that I can’t count on others to fill my pitcher.  While I am eager to give to others, that doesn’t mean they feel the same way.  It doesn’t mean they know how to fill my pitcher.  It doesn’t mean they want to fill me up.  I can’t count on others to fill my pitcher, so I have to do so myself.

The first step was so very difficult!  I had to figure out what filled me up.  What brought me joy.  What made me feel the most like me.

The next step was just as challenging.  I had to do it.  I had to step away from the needs of my loved ones and meet my own needs.

It sounds so easy, but I had been in a constant state of giving, so to take time for myself felt incredibly selfish!

Slowly, ever so slowly, I learned how important it was and how to go about doing it.  It started out with little things – making time for a bubble bath alone, sitting for a quiet moment while the kids watched Caillou to enjoy a cup of tea, or putting the kids in the double stroller so I could get outside and exercise.

Later, it came easier to me and I was able to do things which would have made me feel silly when I first started out.  I learned that nobody cared about my birthday, so I made my own birthday cake and bought myself a gift I wanted.  I celebrated my birth and my life.  I acknowledged that I was special.  To this day, I still buy myself a birthday gift (although I now have loved ones who buy/make me a cake).

Today, I write.  I had stopped writing.  And singing.  My husband told me I was bad at both of those things, and I believed him, so I stopped.  Since leaving him, I understand that it doesn’t matter if those around me like my shower warblings or not.  I enjoy it, so I do it.  It makes me happy.  It fills my pitcher.

Taking time to make yourself happy is so important!  What did you do today for yourself?  Just to make yourself happy?  If you didn’t do anything yet, I would encourage you to do something, even a little something, to brighten your spirit.

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