Author Archive: publicinhiding

Hypervigilant

I remember looking at an online dating profile of a man, seeing “never been married,” and wondering why. I mean, he seemed so amazing! Why in the world had he never been married? Always wanting to see the best in people (and thinking he was really great) I ignored it, thinking maybe he just had …

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Earplugs

Tonight, as I was preparing to go for a walk, I went to empty out my fanny pack. That’s right – I admit it – I use a fanny pack. There’s no pockets in yoga pants, so a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do! As I dug through each small pocket, I came …

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Tall Men

It was recently pointed out to me that my attraction to tall men might be my downfall. Um… no. My attractiveness to abusive men is my downfall. My tolerance for unacceptable behavior is my downfall. My broken picker (the one that picks men) is my downfall. A man’s height has absolutely nothing to do with …

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Haven

I saw this on Facebook the other day, and it has really stayed with me: It makes so much sense to me. And it makes me ache with sadness. I’ve never even witnessed that kind of love, let alone experienced it. The book I’ve been reading is about soul mates, so I’m sure that it …

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Introverts Unite!

So you all know that I’m an introvert, but that I’m trying to work around that. My counselor has challenged me to “find my peeps” which seem like an insurmountable task, some days. The thing is – I’m 100% positive that I’m not alone in this. I KNOW that there are other introverts out there …

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“Out There”

I had a date tonight. It wasn’t like it was planned or anything, it just kinda happened. It was more like a blind date, in a way. In the past I’ve always gotten to know someone a little online before going out on a date. This was far more sudden. I think we both just …

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So Many Feelings

When I woke this morning, I was elated! I was leaving the shelter! YAY!!! In the middle of the night, we got another newbie, and she had one, if not two, screamers in tow. That combined with the failing plumbing made me extra excited to move into my own place. Knowing that I was on …

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My Dream Partner

My therapist wants me to think about what qualities I want in my dream partner. I think my dream partner is a mash-up of what I wanted as a child and what I know that I don’t want from my experiences as an adult. When I was a girl, he needed to be smart and …

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How Can You Help?

So, you’ve been with me through this journey.  Thanks for keeping me company as I go. Hopefully, you’ve gotten something from it. Actually, you should feel special. Not a lot of my family and friends know what’s going on in my life.  Some don’t even know that I’ve left my ex.  I’m just not ready …

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My Shelter Blankets

When I moved into the shelter, I was given a room with two beds, and I was told that I could choose whichever bed I wanted.  One was extremely hard and one was so soft that I sank further than I’ve ever gone before.  Which do you choose?  Well, if you’re like me, you choose …

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