Fourth?!?!

So, I was pretty happy with having three FWB. It’s a good number. I couldn’t make my profile invisible, because that’s how two of them contact me, otherwise I would have. As a result of my profile remaining active, men can still contact me. A year ago, this wouldn’t have been a bad thing – I got very few hits on my profile, so I eagerly chatted with any man who showed a little interest. Now, I’m not sure how to handle it. Should I just collect a whole bunch of men so I can have my pick of them on any given night? Or, would they all start to feel neglected if I did that? Is limiting the number a better thing (fewer names to remember!)?

Last night, a man who had previously cancelled on me, and then disappeared, reappeared. I was quite surprised. While I was happy with my three, might he be a good addition to my … friends list? (I’m still trying to figure out what to call my guys, as a whole.) I enjoyed chatting with him before he disappeared. When he cancelled, he said it was due to a family emergency. When he reappeared, he said that his son’s appendix had burst. It seems like I have seen him on the site since then, but I could be wrong. I don’t mind my FWB dating other people (after all – I am!) but I won’t tolerate lies. Is he lying to me? I’m so hypersensitive to lies that I think I often incorrectly assume men are lying to me, when they might not be. So, if he asks me out, I’ll meet with him. I mean – four isn’t a terribly large number, right? Plus, his schedule is more compatible to mine than any of my other guys’.

Each of my guys knows he’s not the only one, and they all seem okay with sharing me. That I get. What surprises me is the amount of men who are interested in me. I have had dozens of men in the last two months tell me how beautiful I am, how sexy, what a great body I have. I have gobs of men trying to convince me to give them a chance. Men all over my area are lusting after me and molesting themselves while thinking about me. I’ve never had this much attention before.

It seems like such an oxymoron. Men aren’t attracted to me for a long term relationship due to my weight, but they are attracted to me for casual sex? Shouldn’t it be the opposite? Shouldn’t men who want loving relationships be more worried about a woman’s personality than her figure? Shouldn’t men who are looking mostly for sex want women with healthy bodies? Just when I think I have men figured out, they prove me wrong!

I guess it’s kind of disheartening. I’m a really good partner. I am loving and giving, honest and happy, blah, blah, blah. It sucks that men who are looking for an LTR (and seeking the qualities I possess) can’t see through my fat to who I am inside.

• Posted in: Dating