Seriously Struggling

Dear Reader, I’ve always been honest with you, but I try to temper it with happiness. There is so much negativity in the world, I try to keep my blog positive.

But, I think it’s only fair to tell you that I’m struggling. I’m struggling at work, I’ve given up on buying a house, I’m struggling to lose weight, and Ms. PG and I just ended.

I’d like to blame it all on peri-menopause, but I don’t think that’s the reason. Right now, all signs point to the reason being – I’m a failure.

I’m failing at work. I’m making too many mistakes, and apparently mistakes aren’t allowed – even when learning new things. My shrink said I should look for another job, but I’m not qualified for anything and I couldn’t get a good reference.

I tried buying a house. Or four. Each time, I failed for a different reason. The definition of insane is repeating the same action and expecting different results. I’m done banging my head into that particular wall.

I hit my weight loss plateau. I got through it. And now I’m gaining weight. Fail!

And tonight, while I’m admittedly feeling like a total failure, Ms PG admitted that I’m a failure in her eyes… and by any metric she can think of.

Ouch.

I’ve been with cruel partners before, but none who kicked me so harshly when I was already lying prostate in the mud.

My shrink said I can text her, should I ever need an emergency session. Lol. And this is where the victim in me says l’m not worth bothering her. Buck up and move on.

Really feeling the need for a mental health day tomorrow!

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